Week 4 – And Life Goes On….

I was the youngest of four and the only girl!  As such, I received a lot of “perks” that my three older brothers didn’t.  Believe me, they were far too many to mention.  I was, indeed, the baby girl – my father’s princess and even my brothers treated me special for the most part.  In fact, there isn’t any aspect of being the baby of the family that I would have changed even if I could, except…..

I lost my father when I was only 27 years old.  I was married with two small children of my own at the time, and when I lost my dad I could have crawled into a fetal position and stayed there – forever – were it not for my children who needed me.  What I came to realize was yes, I was the baby of the family with so many perks along the way except I didn’t get to have my father in my life for as long as my brothers did.  I felt cheated.  In fact, I was downright angry – angry at the world, angry at God, angry at everyone.  I can remember the day after he passed, I woke up in the morning and the sun was shining brightly.  It was the first of May and the birds were singing, the flowers were budding, people were busy with their day to day comings and goings.  Everything seemed to go on, unchanged.  How could that be?  I had lost the most important man in my life and no one seemed to care.  I hosted the post-funeral gathering at my home and I actually ended up secluded in my bedroom because I couldn’t cope with people laughing or smiling or making light of any subject.  My world had come crashing down around me, and yet no one seemed to care.  Life just went on……

Fast forward 36 years – yesterday we lost my 98 year old father-in-law.  A wonderful man with a heart of gold.  Yes, it was clearly his time to go.  My husband is so blessed that he still had his dad in his life at age 71.  Remember, I lost mine when I was only 27.  Losing him brings back all the same feelings I had 36 years ago.  When your heart is breaking, it’s just mind boggling that yep, life goes on…..

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