Week 17 – Resistance to Blogging

I like to think of myself as the type of person that does what I say I’m going to do.  In other words, I think of myself as being a person of my word.  When someone gives me their word on something – anything – I always believe that what they’re saying is true and that they will, in fact, keep their word.  Sometimes I even find myself hoping against hope when someone appears to be coming up short in keeping their word.  So, if I really feel this way, why am I not keeping my word regarding my commitment and requirement to blog weekly?

I find myself thinking about blogging quite often, realizing that I’ve fallen behind.  I actually feel guilty about it as well.  I’m really good at feeling guilt as I was raised Catholic and no one knows how to lay guilt more effectively than a Catholic mother!!!  So I’m feeling the guilt, blogging is very often in the forefront of my mind and thoughts and yet, I find an excuse not to sit down and get it done.  Why?

I’m thinking it’s because I think to myself “do you have anything of value to write about?”, and more often than not the answer is “No”.  Perhaps if I was excited to write about a certain subject or had a great experience to share, I’d be more inclined to sit down and get ‘er done.  Does this go all the way back to the very basic “not good enough” story that we all tell each other at different times in our life OR  is the “not good enough” story a very convenient “go to” when we simply don’t want to do something?  Maybe there is a lesson here.  Where else in my life do I sit back and watch life and opportunity pass me by because it’s much easier to tell myself I’m not good enough, or smart enough, or worthy enough to be part of something.  The REALLY big question here is “What am I pretending not to know”……

That’s it in a nutshell.  How convenient is it to hide behind the different excuses and stories we tell ourselves as to how or why something won’t work.  I know better.  I really do.  I’m pretending not to know that everything I need to do anything that I WANT to do is already within.  I’m pretending not to know that I have the power to blow the lid off anything I choose.  I’m pretending not to know that I’m nature’s greatest miracle.  I pretend alot.

I’m thinking it’s time for me to choose a new story…..

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